so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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