Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
