Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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