so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i out mim tonsoeep
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