Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
