Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
