I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
