What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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