I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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