I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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