why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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