Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i need some magic done to my vagina
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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