Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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