i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
