So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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