he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
