Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
