If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
