I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
