No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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