How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
