I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
