Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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