If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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