I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
