What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
