I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
