ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
