i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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