I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
