No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
