Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
