Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
