Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
