all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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