our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
