A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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