last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
