No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
