thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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