period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
