don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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