What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
