turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
