i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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