I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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