Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize