Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
