he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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