If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
