omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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