Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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