You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
