I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
