This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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