Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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