So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Who died my cat blue again?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
