the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize