ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my being single is dangerous.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
