whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
