I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
